The Personal Nature of God

What do you do when "know" something; that is you understand this "thing" logically and something beyond your understanding seems to support it; but, at the same time, your experience contradicts it. For me it is terribly frustrating. Specifically, I'm referring to the personal nature of God. I deeply hold the orthodox understanding of the Trinity; That is that God exists in three persons; Father, Son and Holy Spirit, and that they live together in the most genuine form of love, acceptance and self-giving. It is, in fact, this living that defines for me what it truly means to be a person. But in my experience, I struggle to realize this type of relationship with God. It is not without considerable effort, I might add, that I make myself available to know God in this personal way. Bible Reading, prayer, meditation, waiting and listening, reading, going to church services are some of the ways I attempt to hear and receive from God. But often God still seems so transcendent and afar off. I, as well, detect internal barriers in my mind and soul; something akin to a wall or dense fog that will not dissipate. My pray is frequently, "Here I am God, I wait upon You".... but silence. But there are times, when totally unsuspecting, I sense the presence of God watching me. It could be my imagination or self generated emotions, but I don't think so. It is enough for me to continue hoping and trusting that God is with me and for me. "Your word to me oh God is more precious than riches"