Breathing

The Name of this blog, You Are The Child, is taken from the idea that each of us have been drawn into being through God's own desire that we would be His beloved child.  No matter the circumstances surrounding our physical birth or biological family, God has greatly desired to have a child exactly like you and me.  In this desire and love, He has drawn us into His relationship with His Son, Jesus Christ.

I believe this is the central reality of our being and identity; our being desired and loved by God as His beloved child.

I am a newbie at meditation and have been focusing on my breathing.  As I sit I draw my attention to my inbreath and to my outbreath or exhale.  This helps enable me to to separate myself from the constant stream of thoughts that run through my mind; many of which distract me from my own identity.  Breath in; breath out.

I am adding to my practice the mantra that attaches specific words to the inbreath and the outbreath.  Those words are:

I am (inbreath)
The Child (outbreath)
You have (inbreath)
Always wanted (outbreath)
I am (inbreath)
The Child (outbreath)
You have (inbreath)
Always wanted (outbreath)
(breathing is slow and relaxed)

It is my hunch and my hope that these words (as I've expressed above-I believe to be the central realtity of my being and identity) will find their way into me and not only be my thoughts but my true sense of self.

“Give me a candle of the Spirit, O God,

as I go down into the deep of my own being.

Show me the hidden things.

Take me down to the spring of my life,

and tell me my nature and my name.

Give me freedom to grow so that I may become my true self –

the fulfillment of the seed which you planted in me at my making.

Out of the deep, I cry unto thee, O God.”   Amen

— George Appleton

The Personal Nature of God

What do you do when "know" something; that is you understand this "thing" logically and something beyond your understanding seems to support it; but, at the same time, your experience contradicts it. For me it is terribly frustrating. Specifically, I'm referring to the personal nature of God. I deeply hold the orthodox understanding of the Trinity; That is that God exists in three persons; Father, Son and Holy Spirit, and that they live together in the most genuine form of love, acceptance and self-giving. It is, in fact, this living that defines for me what it truly means to be a person. But in my experience, I struggle to realize this type of relationship with God. It is not without considerable effort, I might add, that I make myself available to know God in this personal way. Bible Reading, prayer, meditation, waiting and listening, reading, going to church services are some of the ways I attempt to hear and receive from God. But often God still seems so transcendent and afar off. I, as well, detect internal barriers in my mind and soul; something akin to a wall or dense fog that will not dissipate. My pray is frequently, "Here I am God, I wait upon You".... but silence. But there are times, when totally unsuspecting, I sense the presence of God watching me. It could be my imagination or self generated emotions, but I don't think so. It is enough for me to continue hoping and trusting that God is with me and for me. "Your word to me oh God is more precious than riches"